my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
True college students do jello shots in the library
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
