I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
