She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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