My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
