My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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