i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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