Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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