I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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