This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
