I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize