he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Text me some of your sweat
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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