I am spending my child support on dildos
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I will be naked everywhere
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize