i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
