this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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