My liver just broke up with me...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
