If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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