we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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