upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
