I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
