I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
