You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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