That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
