OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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