Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
