Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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