Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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