I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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