My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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