Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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