is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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