all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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