He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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