she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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