Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
