I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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