ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
