FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
