Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
