i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
