he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
