What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
