Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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