Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's always time for handjobs
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
