Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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