Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
