Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
do nipples grow back?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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