hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
