Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
