Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize