Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My bed smells like the plague
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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