"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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