you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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