Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
