Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize