LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
