If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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