Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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