so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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