I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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