He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He better not be in your backpack
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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