Already got asked if we're dating
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
