i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
