You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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