I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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