Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
