My nipple is on Facebook.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
