it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
