Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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